Saturday, December 31, 2011

Goodbye 2011!

As a farewell to 2011, and because my friends are always teasing me about how many pictures I take, I decided to do a photo summary of 2011. Only, I made myself choose just ONE photo to represent each month. Well, except for September and October, but that's only because of the Honeymoon.  2011 was a great year, with a lot of ups and a few downs. I had a lot of firsts - eating at Ruth Chris Steakhouse, going to a professional baseball game (The Nationals), going to a car show, taking dancing lessons, going to the Musuem of American History and the Museum of Crime & Punishment. My Dad turned 60. I found out I probably have IBS. I got married and went on my dream vacation: a Mediterranean Cruise with Adam. Tippy passed away in October. I started the Day Zero Project. I got a raise.We got our first ever new car.

And I think I've decided I want to start taking classes to get my Paralegal Certification.

At any rate. It's been a busy and amazing year. I'm sad to see it go because I had some really incredible times this past year, it's been the best one yet. On the other hand... I can't wait to see what 2012 will bring. Will it be even better? Or are we headed straight for the [zombie] apocalypse? Guess we'll just have to live it and find out! =)

Jan:

Pajama Party for New Years!
February:

Another Valentine's Day?... What a DRAG!
March:

Our annual trip to the Cherry Blossom Festival
April:

Up at 4am to watch Prince William and Kate Middleton get Married!
May:

Visited Tybee Island, GA for their Annual Beach Bum Parade (i.e. Giant, town-wide water fight)
June:

My Amazing Bridal Shower (with Ranch Fountain!)
July:

First time at a Professional Baseball Game... the Nationals vs.... Someone.
August:

Demolition Derby at the Fair and Fried Oreos! Nom nom nom.

September:
Got Married - 9/24/2011
Honeymoon Cruise on the Mediterranean!
October:
Still Honeymooning!


Archer & Lana for Halloween
November:

My First Time Throwing a "Leftovers Friendsgiving"

December:

Now that's what I call getting into the Holiday Spirit!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

#51 New Recipes - Salted Caramel Butter Bars

These are the most delicious things I've ever made. And it's a good thing I didn't really read the recipe before I responded to a pot-luck party that I was bringing these, because once I did and saw the amount of butter in it I was horrified. But SWEET JESUS they are AMAZING. They are worth every little clog that I felt building up in my arteries as I was eating them. Katieschmatie and I seriously debated eating the entire pan and just telling everyone at the party that I ended up not making them.  But I kept saying "ONE POUND OF BUTTER." Otherwise we might have.



Ingredients:
For the Crust:
1 lb salted butter at room temperature (that's FOUR STICKS people!)
1 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
 2 Tablespoons Vanilla
4 cups all purpose flour

For the Filling:
1 bag (14 oz) caramel candies (about 50 individual caramels), unwrapped (I found bags of cooking caramels at the store that worked just fine, and no unwrapping needed!)
1/3 cup milk or cream (I used 2% milk)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon coarse sea salt (Optional - obviously by the title of this blog post, I used it, I just lightly sprinkled some special smoked chardonnay sea salt from William Sonoma)


1. Preheat oven to 325F. In a large bowl, combine the butter and sugars. Using mixer on medium speed, beat together until creamy.
2. Add vanilla and beat until combined.
3. Sift the flour into the butter mixture and beat on low speed until a smooth soft dough forms.
Just a note: you REALLY want to use a large bowl because the flour is going to fly EVERYWHERE.

4. Spray a 9x13 inch baking pan lightly with non-stick cooking spray. Press one-third of the dough evenly into the pan to form a bottom crust and place the remainder of the dough in the fridge to chill. Bake the dough in the pan until firm and the edges are a pale golden brown - approx 20 minutes according to the recipe, but it took mine closer to 35.
Transfer to a wire rack and let cool about 15 minutes.

5. While the bottom crust is cooling, make the caramel filling. (It takes almost no time at all, so wait until the crust has already been cooling 10 minutes). Place the unwrapped caramels in a microwave-safe bowl and add the cream/milk. Microwave on high for 1 minute. Remove from microwave and stir until smooth. If caramels are not completely melted, microwave on high for 30 second intervals, stirring after each interval until smooth.

6. Pour the caramel filling over the crust. If you are going to salt the caramel, sprinkle it on the caramel layer now.
7. Remove the chilled dough from the refrigerator and crumble it evenly over the caramel.
8. Return the pan to the oven and bake until the filling is bubbly and the crumbled shortbread topping is firm and lightly golden, about 25-30 minutes. Let cool before cutting into squares.

Now... if you start gnoshing before it's completely cool and it's still a little warm, I will warn you... it's like crack. Katieschmatie and I were making sounds normally reserved for the bedroom. All conversation stopped and as soon as we'd each finished our first bar our eyes drifted, inexorably, to where the rest of the bars lay waiting for the party...

Once completely cooled they are still incredible, but if you've eaten them warm you'll find them very slightly easier to resist. Sort of. Mostly. And you very quickly find yourself forgetting what they're made out of, because you must, because you're going to eat more than just that first bar. A LOT more.

If you're interested in other awesome sweets check out this fantastic blog that I linked this recipe up to =)

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Holmes: Better The Second Time Around

I've been having a bit of a Sherlock Holmes obsession lately. I've been re-reading the books, watching Lie to Me and Psych (both loosely based on Holmes) and the new modern version of Holmes, the TV show Sherlock, and I've been to see the new movie twice. However, when I say it's better the second time around, I don't mean the second time you go see the movie. I mean that the sequel far outshines the original.



Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed the first Sherlock Holmes movie. I adore Robert Downey Jr., I enjoyed the well-crafted mystery and I appreciated how well-done the characters were. Downey and Jude Law had just the right kind of chemistry to be Holmes and Watson, Rachel McAdams made a fantastic Irene Adler, and I even enjoyed that Professor Moriarty's part was similar to his role in so many of the Sherlock Holmes short stories - that of a shadowy outsider who never gets his hands dirty but pulls many criminal strings. However, in the main, the first movie didn't use much from the books other than the characters. Still, it was an adventurous, fun and exciting movie which I enjoyed greatly.

This movie though, this wonderous sequel... if you are a fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's novels and short stories, this movie is going to have you hopping in your seat with all of its references to the books. Hollywood has finally figured out that the truer to the book, the better the movie. I'm going to try to avoid too many spoilers, but I don't consider this one since she dies within the first 20 minutes of the movie - Irene Adler is out of the picture for good. Which I applaud. Holmes is not a romantic and although it was fun to watch him and Adler play cat and mouse in the first movie, I'm glad that they didn't continue it into the second.

The books are all told through Watson's voice, he chronicles Holmes' endeavors, and he does so in this movie as well.

In fact, fans of the book will recognize Watson's opening and ending lines of the movie, straight out of the short story The Final Adventure. And while the movie does not follow the short story completely, because to be honest it wouldn't make a very good movie, there is so much from that story and others sprinkled throughout the movie that it made me absolutely gleeful.
Professor Moriarty finally steps into center stage though and I'd like to applaud the casting director because they made some really brilliant casting decisions and James Harris as the professor was one of them. He is quietly sinister, disarmingly evil, a gentlemanly exterior encasing a cunningly devilish brain. Somewhat of a chameleon, he hides his more sinister nature behind that of a celebrated academic.
How could this well-bred, mannered, amiable intellectual possibly be behind the murders, assassinations and bombings across Europe, bringing the nations closer and closer to the brink of all out war?
Harris shows Moriarty at his most sinister as he and Holmes face off. The Professor's blatant disregard for human life on a massive scale, with the most incredibly brilliant plan that astounds and impresses even Holmes, shows audiences what Holmes could have become had he been inclined to evil. Instead, these two massive intellects collide, in a battle of wits and mystery.

Two more characters from the book make their first appearance. I just about jumped out of my seat and danced for joy when Holmes' brother Mycroft made his appearance, played by Stephen Fry.
I honestly can't think of anyone better to play the large, fleshy, apathetic and lazy individual with an intellect that outshines Sherlock's (or "Shirley" as Mycroft calls him). Another moment of glee was had when, within seconds of Mycroft's appearance on the screen, Watson remarks on how incredible it is that Mycroft has ventured outside his usual haunt - the Diogenes club. BOOK REFERENCES EVERYWHERE!!!! *happy dance*

Also fantastically casted is Paul Anderson as Colonel Sebastian Moran. Referenced in the Valley of Fear as being Moriarty's right hand man and chief villian of The Adventure of the Empty House, Holmes calls Moran the second most dangerous man in England... after Moriarty of course. He's also one of the best marksmen in Europe. Which is used to great effect in the movie.

I am quite hopeful that Hollywood will continue with the basic theme of referencing the books and make him lead bad guy if (I HOPE!) they do a third.

Even Mary gets a chance to shine. When she's introduced in the books in The Sign of Four Sherlock has several complimentary things to say about her, mostly because she provides him with all the pertinent information he needs to gather clues from. He finds her charming and intimates that she might be useful in such work as he and Watson due. In this movie she gets to do some of that, first on the train when she saves Watson by pulling a gun on an attacking henchman, and later when she becomes part of Sherlock's plan to take down the Professor.

I liked Mary in the last movie, but I'm glad that she was able to become slightly more involved in this movie.

Lovers of the books will not be disappointed by the end of the movie I hope... it differs slightly from the end of The Final Adventure, but is similar enough that I was entirely happy with it. The script uses the book word for word as Watson types, he's actually typing out the end of the story, which thrilled me. This movie had so much that I love about the books, and constant references to them as well.

Not only that, but (unlike the first movie) if you are paying attention and you see, observe and deduce, you will be able to solve the mystery along with Sherlock. It's not like the first movie where Sherlock tastes things or knows random paralytics and chemical compounds. We get the same information he does, you just have to catch it and figure out how/why it's important. Watching the movie a second time, I looked for all the things that Sherlock reveals in his wrap-up and they were all there, if only I had realized it before! More than anything, that made this a true Holmesian story to me.

Oh, and you might be asking, "Muffin, what about the gypsy chick?" Yeah, she's really not important. Just part of the plot line and a way to get more of a feminine presence into the boys club of Holmes and Watson. Which, don't get me wrong, I appreciate and she needs to be there, but overall she has nothing to do with why I was so happy with the movie.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

#33 Friend Recommended - Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff

My friend Andrew has been bugging me for years to read Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, a controversial satire by Christopher Moore, for years. And I always meant to, but it wasn't until it was recommended to me by my friend Kelly as well, when I asked for book recommendations to complete task #31 of my 101 Tasks that I finally went to the library and got it. Coming so highly recommended from two of my friends, I knew that it was time.



And I'm glad I did.

I found this book to be both satirically witty and earnestly serious. In a world where so much of Western Civilazation's history has been founded upon Christian beliefs, politics and wars, and a country where the Right is trying to turn secular law into religious, it was a relevant and fascinating read.

I have never been one to take the Bible too seriously. That's not to say I think I'm a bad Christian, just that I recognize certain realities and that while the Bible may be divinely inspired, it is not necessarily the unedited, unaltered Word of God. First of all, it's been translated over and over again, and before the printing press it was translated by hand, leading to all sorts of possible uncondoned edits. It's also not the complete story, since the Council of Nicene (made up of men with all sorts of political and ideological agendas) completely through out some of the original books of the Bible (heretical, you know) and did who knows what else to the ones that got to stay. In addition, let's face it, not all the books deal with Jesus' teachings. In fact, there seems to be more of Paul's opinions in there sometimes than Jesus'. And the most glaring omission: How did Jesus become the person Christians follow? We jump from his birth to the time he started preaching at 30 years of age. What happened to him during that time period? What was his life like? Did he learn lessons like the rest of us? Did he ever doubt like the rest of us?

Lamb strives to both answer and mock these questions. The Angel Raziel has brought Biff, Christ's childhood best friend, back to life in order to write his Gospel, which has been missing from the Bible these many years. Rather than focusing on Jesus' preachings or Paul's later interpretations of his teacher's lessons, Biff focuses on the boy that would become the man. In Lamb, Jesus is shown to be, not just the son of God, but also a man. Reading this book somehow makes Jesus more relatable: he gets into fights with his best friend, wonders about sex, searches for his identity, and occasionally wonders if he's gotten it wrong and he's not the Messiah and Son of God. Some of his most famous teachings are grounded in this book, showing that they aren't just words, but that there are reasons and actions behind those teachings, human reason and human actions that made these lessons important to Jesus and that is why he passed them on to humanity.

Even more intriguing, to me anyway, is how the story integrates other world religions as Jesus and Biff travel to China and India.

I loved this book. Not just because I'm a cynic and I appreciate humor, but as a Christian and spiritual person I loved how this book really combined the Son of God with a human persona. Christ is not just man's Savior (if that's what you believe), he's a man himself, and this book really shows off how that duality might have played out during his formative years.

Obviously... this is not a real Gospel. It's not even really a "maybe this is how it happened" story. But it's a good funny read. I enjoyed it. It made me think. It made me happy. It made me wonder if maybe that is how it happened, or at least closer to what the actual Gospels have written. Somehow, even at its most supernatural, the events of the book seem more human and grounded than a lot of the Bible.

This is not a book for anyone who believes that the Bible is word for word true or can't handle anyone asking questions of their faith, because those who have never questioned don't have enough faith to handle the questions and uncertainties this book may pose to them (That's just my opinion, but I think I'm right) and so they won't enjoy it. Because if you can't suspend your belief about your faith, then this book is just going to seem like a bunch of junk. But if you enjoy questioning, if you sometimes wonder what Boy Jesus might have been like, and if you don't mind operating outside the bounds of strict interpretations, this will be a fun book for you. Or, if you don't believe at all and would like to read a hilarious romp about that guy the U.S.'s political Left claims to follow, then this is a good book for you.

Happy Jesus' Birthday... except not really because that actually happened in the Spring but because the Catholic Church needed a holiday to help stamp out the pagan Mid-Winter Celebrations they moved the celebration of Jesus' birth to Midwinter. If you appreciate the irony in that last sentence, you'll probably like the book.

Friday, December 23, 2011

#51 New Recipes - Artichoke Crusted Chicken Breasts

Artichokes are one of my favorites foods. Chicken is also high up on the list. The idea of crusting my chicken with artichoke put  me into raptures of joy... and it was just as fantastically delicious as I hoped!



Ingredients:
2 six-ounce chicken breasts, pounded thin
2 tbsp olive oil
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup artichoke hearts, drained and chopped (either canned or thawed frozen ones)
1/3 cup grated white cheddar cheese (I used an Italian blend)
Salt
Pepper

Directions:
1. Pound the chicken breasts flat. Salt and pepper the chicken and then saute each chicken breast in olive oil on medium-high heat, for about 8-10 minutes, flipping once, or until the juices run clear when pierced with a fork. Set aside. Preheat oven to broil.
(Obviously I tripled the recipe =)

2. Have your friend / kitchen slave Katieschmatie chop up the artichokes while you're doing the chicken:
3. Mix together the mayonnaise, artichoke hearts and cheddar cheese until evenly distributed. Spread the mixture over the sauteed chicken breast.
4. Broil for about 3 minutes. Check them every couple of minutes - broiling can lead to burning very quickly. When the cheese is melted and bubbling and the tops are golden, remove serve, and being accepting compliments.
(I served mine with the Brussels sprouts recipe in my previous entry, nice and healthy dinner!)

I'm going to be making this dish a lot... Probably try it with miracle whip and see if it's still just as good to try and make it a little bit healthier. Or cut down on the amount of mayo and up the amount of artichokes... but over all, this is one of my favorite recipes that I've tried so far and I have a feeling it's going to become a staple in our home!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

#51 New Recipes - Cider-Cinnamon Brussels Sprouts

Brussels Sprouts?! EEEEWWWWWWWW!

That's the usual reaction. That was my reaction up until a few years ago when I had Brussels sprouts with bacon, and cooked correctly. They can be off in taste or texture if not done correctly, they can be bitter or mushy or hard, all of which make kids go "EW."

Normally I only eat Brussels sprouts when they have bacon in them, as that's how they were cooked the first time I tried some that I liked. Last night I decided to branch out a little more and try to make my own Brussels sprouts for the first time, without bacon! These are both easy and delicious, not to mention very healthy!

Cider-Cinnamon Brussels Sprouts
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 cups Brussels sprouts, halved
1 large apple, diced
1 large pear, diced
1 cup apple cider
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1. In a large pan over medium heat, heat oil. Cook Brussels sprouts cut side down, flipping once, until browned 10-12 minutes.
You want to make sure they don't burn. And it's hard to flip them out of being face-side down, because you're trying to flip them on their rounded side, so make sure you keep an eye on them and keep moving them around every couple of minutes to make sure they aren't burning.

2. Add pear and apple, cook until soft (about 5 minutes)

3. Add cider and cinnamon; simmer, stirring, until all liquid cooks away.

To be honest, when I read the directions I missed the "until all liquid cooks away" and the Brussels sprouts were still delicious. However, a LOT of the liquid had cooked away when I took them off the stove. You need to do this because the liquid is what leeches the bitterness out of the sprouts and makes them yummy!

I'm definitely going to be making these again!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

#32 - Send a Surprise Care Package to a Friend

This is something I have been wanting to do every Christmas since one of my best friends, Audrey, moved across the country to Arizona. And every Christmas, I end up not doing it. Sometimes it's something as simple as I don't have the money to actually ship something to AZ. Sometimes I know she's coming out here to visit for New Years and so it's not worth the money when I could just wait a few weeks. There's always some reason or excuse and so she always gets her Christmas present late.

Not this year.

This year I'm doing 101 Tasks in 1001 Days and I purposefully made one of those tasks: Send a surprise care package to a friend. Normally people would probably say, but it's Christmas, how is that a surprise? Well it's a surprise because I've never done it before, she's been living in AZ for years and so it was completely unexpected.

Marvelous Moose and I teamed up for this one, and another friend, Jimmy, added his contribution as well. We sent a little Christmas bundle of love to our friend Audrey, which she received yesterday, to her shock and pleasure.

We know that Audrey doesn't need presents or material items to know that we love and miss her, but sending a tangible show of love touches much more deeply than mere words. It's not about what's in the package, it's that we took the time to put it together (and handmake some AWESOME cards) and send it. And so this Christmas season, we've spread our love all the way to Arizona.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Afternoon Tea

Now here's something people don't do anymore... afternoon tea! Hosted by Katieschmatie & her Mother.

And yet, I think that more people should. In this modern day and age, we've lost the art of hosting an event. I've decided it's Facebook's fault.

I am invited to 10-20 events every month, and yet I only receive 2-3 invitations in the mail a year, and that's only if someone I know is getting married that year! That might not last either, because now even wedding invitations are going online. This is good because it saves paper. But it does lack some of the formality and elegance that a paper invitation can provide.

There's nothing necessarily wrong with informal gatherings and parties, but this past weekend I realized how much fun it is to do things the "old-fashioned" way. Nowadays, people rarely get formal. Going to the theater no longer involves a suit and gown, or even nice slacks and a dress. You can go in jeans and a t-shirt, and most people do. Very few places outside of country clubs have a dress code. And even weddings are becoming more casual. After prom, no one wears a ball gown anymore unless they're in politics and get invited to one of the White House Balls or Formal Dinners (and the only reason I know about that is from watching West Wing!)

When was the last time you went to a party and the table set up for it looked like this?:
Parties take less and less effort. I'm guilty of it too! I invite more people and put less effort in the food, decorations and details, because I'm already going to be putting more effort into the cleaning and making a mass quantity of food. I invite people on Facebook, and I never know who's going to show up because of that damn "Maybe" option... plus the fact that people no longer feel bound by their RSVP. You always know that some of the people who said No will show up, some of the people who said Yes won't, and the people who said "maybe"... well, they might. This lackadaisical response system has wormed it's way into general society... while I was planning my wedding I can't tell you how many girls on TheKnot.com griped and moaned about their friends and relatives who were responding with "maybes" or adding extra guests onto their RSVPs. The etiquette for how to respond to a party invitation has been completely lost. You have to plan for the unexpected, whether it's 20 less or 20 more people showing up than said they would.

Not this party. Sure, the invitation went out on Facebook, but with the note that "maybe" was not an acceptable answer because there were going to be set places for each of the guests. So paper was saved AND so was etiquette! Dress code? Hats. Fancy hats specifically. The kind of hats that people used to wear when they went out to tea. Because a tea is more fun with a hat than a t-shirt.

The food? Up to par with the dress code and the required Yes or No response. My friends and I are all so used to pot-luck parties and BYOBs, in the days preceding the tea we all kept asking, "What can I bring?" and the response "Just yourselves!" was confused us. "Are you sure?" Yes.

The food was served in courses.
The savory course with Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato Soup, Buffalo Chicken Spread with Ranch Dressing on a cracker, Bacon Wrapped Scallops, Arancini, and Cucumber sandwiches with an Herb Spread.
Sweet Course: Blueberry Scone with Fresh Whipped Cream, Sweet Elegance Biscuits, Belgian Chocolate Cookies, Strawberry Cheesecake Bites and Peppermint Snowballs.
Throughout it all there were several selections of tea to choose from, whatever your taste, from a special Christmas Tea to Green Tea to herbal fruit teas. The last course was chocolate petit fours and champagne. Some of the food was homemade, some of it was store-bought, all of it was delicious, thoughtfully chosen and beautifully displayed.

I've decided that I'd like to host a formal party once a year. Granted, I won't be able to invite everyone that I'd like to, because that would just become overwhelming, but it's worth it to have a small, intimate, well-executed gathering once in awhile. Plus, it gives us an excuse to get fancy and do something a little different... like wear fantastic hats.

Friday, December 16, 2011

#33 Friend Recommended: The Years of Rice and Salt

Books are not just a window into the story told within its pages, it's also a window into the people who love them. You can find out a lot about a person just by reading their favorite books, seeing how its influenced their views, ideas and lives. Books fire our imagination and shape the way we think, the way we approach our lives.

In order to get to know my friends a little better, I decided that for one of my tasks I wanted to ask them to recommend some books. Originally I was just going to read 5 books recommended by friends, but when I posted a Facebook status asking for recommendations I was overwhelmed by responses. People want to be understood, they want to share the things they love and I feel like my friends want me to see a little part of their lives by reading their favorites. So I upped the number to 10.




The Years of Rice and Salt by Kim Stanley Robinson is my first "Frend Recommended" reading, by my friend Phil.

So I would like to take this moment to thank Phil for the most graphic description of a castration that I've ever read. Thanks buddy.

Seriously though, it's a great read.

I chose to read this book first, out of all the ones that my friends recommended, because it's a Sci-Fi / Fantasy Alternative History and I haven't read too many of those, but I've really enjoyed all the ones that I've read. Plus, it was available at my local library. Yay free!  The cover of the book says: Imagine a World Without Europe. The basic premise is that the Black Plague kills so many people in Europe that history is shaped by the East instead of the West. China, India, the Muslim Empire, Japan, and eventually even the Native Americans, who take on a much more important role in this alternate version of history.

But what dominates the book is the difference in religion. The plot spans 500 years of this alternate civilization, constantly switching points of view and location, and yet the cast of characters is always the same. They just have different names and bodies. As Islam battles Hinduism battles Chinese atheism, all with an undercurrent of Buddhism, in the world, between lives the souls of the main characters battle against the unrelenting and unjust dharma, their feelings of helplessness during their lives and their disbelief that they are making any difference during their lives. It provides a thread of connection between each of the disparate and otherwise unaligned chapters. Seen through the eyes of these characters are key points in time, fulcrums upon which the future of humanity rests.

The most interesting part of the book, to me, is how history hasn't actually changed. Little pieces, here and there. But the overwhelming flow of human history remains the same. Religion stymies scientific progress, corruption undercuts good people, rebellions swell against stagnate empires, and eventually science bursts forth and brings humanity to the revelation of atomics. However, Robinson adds many twists and turns along the way, little markers of personal human goodness that shine through on the page: the ever-present desire to do good in the world and make it a better place.

It's a rather long book, and at times almost frustrating to read, because the characters are so frustrated with their place in life. But enjoyable too. It catches at the imagination, to see a world where the Orient and Islam are the focal points, and the few white descendents of plague survivors make no difference at all. Religion, philosphy, science, ethics,  history, women's rights... no stone is left unturned or undiscussed, all with incredible thoughtfulness and attention to detail.

Although, admittedly, what remains burned into my mind are the details of 1 1/2 paragraphs describing exactly how the Chinese castrated their eunuchs.

Still. I would definitely recommend this book as a fascinating and unique read.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

#51 New Recipes: Brown Butter Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies

Say what?

Say YES. Because they're pretty freaking delicious.

Now, I'm not the biggest fan of putting a lot of effort into making Chocolate Chip Cookies. After all, for a fantastic cookie all you have to do is go to the store and buy a big tub of cookie dough, scoop it out with a spoon, plop into onto a baking tray and put it in the oven. And the majority of the time when I do that, the cookie dough doesn't make it onto the baking tray, it just goes from the spoon to my mouth, delighting me and horrifying my husband.

On the rare occasion that chocolate chip cookies are made from scratch in my home, I usually start with a plaintively sweet-voiced, "Hey Adaaaaaaam?"

So these are certainly the most labor intensive chocolate chip cookies I've ever made. Lots of steps, lots of different kinds of chocolate (chips, chunks and grated!), not to mention frying the bacon. I'm sure it would be just as easy to throw some bacon into your own personal favorite chocolate chip recipe, but since the blog that I got this from claimed that the brown butter chocolate chip cookies are the best ever and the author of that blog had obviously taken a lot of time to test different variations of chocolate, I wanted to try her complete recipe. And I have to admit, they're incredibly good even if they take much longer than I would normally want my chocolate chip cookies to take.

Brown Butter Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies
(adapted from some chick's blog, which she adapted from a Cooks Illustrated recipe)


Ingredients:
1 3/4 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
14 tablespoons unsalted butter (that's a stick and 3/4 for those of you following along at home =)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar
1 teaspoon table salt
2 teaspoon vanilla
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
4 oz semisweet chocolate bar, diced into 1/4" pieces
1/2 cup bittersweet chocolate chips
3 tablespoons milk chocolate, grated (Now, I switched some of these up because I had to stick with what was available at Safeway. I used milk chocolate chips, grated semi-sweet chocolate and used a bittersweet chocolate bar to dice into small chunks. As far as I can tell, still delicious.)
1 cup bacon that's been fried until crispy and diced into roughly 1/4" pieces (About 8 pieces of bacon = 1 cup. The blogger I followed recommends using good REAL hickory smoked bacon. I used brown sugar bacon because it's what was on sale.)

Ok. I did things in a slightly different order from the blogger, because some of these take TIME. Like, she directed me to pre-heat my oven... which made my kitchen incredibly hot while I spent the next 40 minutes doing things like frying bacon, melting butter, grating chocolate, etc. and the chocolate ended up getting all over my hands and the cutting board because it was melting. Granted, I have a very small kitchen and so the heat collects pretty quickly, but still. There's no reason to leave your oven on that long. On my second run of doing these cookies I didn't start pre-heating the oven until the bacon was fried and the chocolate chopped & grated.

So, here's the breakdown of how I did these.

1. Start frying up the bacon. If you can't fit all 8 pieces into the pan that's fine, I did mine 4 at a time. I'm sure that you could use a microwave or oven, but I actually do mine in the pan because I feel like I have more control over the bacon in the pan and I wanted to make sure I didn't burn any. You want them VERY cripsy, but not burned. Plus, while it's frying it gave me time to do other steps.

2. Keeping an eye on the bacon, as it's cooking, whisk your 1 3/4 cups flour with 1/2 teaspoon baking soda and set it aside.

3. The bacon should still be cooking, although make sure you're turning it over and keeping an eye on it because you want it right on the edge of burning so that it's super crispy (chewy bacon fat in the cookies isn't as good as crispy chips of bacon). As soon as pieces of bacon are done, put them on a paper towel to "dry". Meanwhile, put 1/2 cup sugar, 3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar, and 1 teaspoon salt into a large mixing bowl. No need to mix them up yet, but now you have them on hand.

4. Bacon still frying? Good. Start grating and chopping your chocolate.

5. By this time, hopefully the bacon is done and cooled on the paper towel. Sure you're supposed to chop it into 1/4" pieces - I used my hands to break it apart.

It was easier than the knife and if the bacon is crispy enough then you'll have no problem doing this. If you run into any problem areas where it's fatty instead of cripsy then BONUS! Eat those fatty parts immediately. Yum.

6. Heat 10 tablespoons of the butter (not all 14!) in a 10-inch skillet over medium heat. You want a large, wide, flat pan because the butter is going to brown and you need to be able to SEE all of it. Swirl this pan constantly and stir the bottom for good measure. There are lots of warnings about how fast butter browns... it actually doesn't. It will seem like it's taking forever. You will ask your Chef Husband, "Is it brown yet?" at least 5 times as you worry about leaving it on the stove for too long and each time he will give you a withering stare and ask, "Does it look brown." Eventually as you stir the butter with a spatula, little bits of amber/copper color will start leaking into the butter from the bottom. Ooo! you think, It's brown! No, it's just got copper specks in it. Give it another minute but DO NOT STOP STIRRING and do NOT take your eyes off of it. The warnings you hear about how fast butter browns is because once it starts browning it goes from brown to BURNED in an incredibly short period of time. Very soon, you will have brown butter. Transfer it immediately into a heat proof bowl and then put the last 4 oz of butter in to melt.
If you are impatient like me, you will end up chopping that big block that you happily dropped in into smaller pieces so that it will melt faster.
7. Put the butter into the bowl with the sugars. This is a good time to start preheating your oven to 375 degrees. To the sugar/butter mixture, add 2 teaspoon vanilla, egg and egg yolk and mix until full incorporated. You can use a mixer or a whisk. I used a fork because I don't have a whisk and I was too lazy to get out the mixer. Plus, builds good arm muscles. Let the mixture stand for a few minutes and then whisk again for 30 seconds. Do this several times, which will allow the sugar to "melt" into the liquid. The mixture should be smooth, thick and shiny when you're done.

8. Using a wooden spoon, stir in the flour mixture until just combined. I kinda folded my flour in, about a third at a time. The more flour in the mixture, the harder it's going to get to stir - that's good! Just keep folding it (stick in spoon, reach down to the bottom, fold it over the top). Fold it in until just combined - don't over stir, but make sure there are no flour pockets.

9. Stir in the grated chocolate, chocolate chips, chocolate chunks and bacon pieces.

10. Using a teaspoon, place a heaping spoonful of cookie dough on the baking sheets. I got about 12 - 16 cookies per baking sheet.


11. Bake for 10-14 minutes (took 11 for me) until cookies are golden brown and set along the edges but still soft in the middle. Remove from oven and set baking sheet on a wire rack and let cool for at least 10 minutes, keeping cookies on the baking sheet as they cool.

12. Give a cookie to Chef Husband for reaction: